Confessions of a Private Teacher.

It is hard to not take it personally when students don't practice. I know it's never an act of malice toward anything, but a lack of ambition. 

Don't get me wrong. I love my students. I want to see them succeed. 

Thus, my dilemma. 

I've found that kids don't have the drive they used to. Granted I am quite young still to be talking about this, but it's true. Work ethic in recent years has plummeted. I don't have a reason or solution for right now. These are simply my thoughts on the matter. 

If I taught lessons just to make money, my conscience would be free from worry. If I taught lessons just because it pays more than my coffee-slinging job, I wouldn't care about the well being of these kids. If I just wanted a job where I can be my own boss, I wouldn't walk out to my car shoulders slumped after every lesson day. 

It is discouraging. 

It makes me wonder, if these kids don't want my help in musical things, how can I make a bigger impact on their little lives?

Because that is, after all, my goal. 

I do not want to be just someone they go practice with for half an hour a week. I want to stand beside them through the highs and lows of life, cheering them on and helping them reach goals. 

These kids matter to me. 

By no means am I saying that I have seen no progress during lessons. There of course is the inevitable skyrocketing in the amount of practice time with solo festival approaching. And that makes me glad. It shows drive to do well and "wow" the judge with their dazzling and God-given talents. 

I enjoy this. 

But sadly, it fades. And everything goes back to how it was. 

Teaching isn't about me. Never has been and never will be. I'm dedicated to having a very small role in bringing up the next generation of musicians. I want to see them soar and grow their talents more than they could ever imagine. 

This is why lack of practice concerns me. So many kids want to do big things and change the world but there is little to show for their passion. I want to help them reach that goal and it is discouraging to face that rejection that they will never want my help. I can tell that most weeks they are only there because mom and dad paid for the lesson already and they didn't have an excuse to miss. I get that. I have days like that. But to see it develop into apathy and bitterness toward music hurts me. 

Again, I have no solution. This is just the trend I have noticed, in my own words, from my own point of view. I know I'm not the only teacher who feels this way. 

I love my job. And as annoying as I might be to these kids, I will never stop pushing and encouraging them to be as good as they can be. 

After all, do we really need more apathetic teachers?